It’s a common theme heard in youth meetings in all kinds of settings… we hear leaders preaching the benefits of making wise choices. Teens are taught the paths of wisdom from the Bible, like Proverbs 3:5-6, and are instructed to ask “What would Jesus do?” for every decision. That’s all well and good – in fact, there’s nothing at all wrong with that kind of teaching.
Along with touting the benefits of making wise choices, we amplify the consequences of making poor, unwise, or outright bad choices. We might say, “Don’t let one bad decision ruin your life!” or “Don’t limit what God could do through you by making the wrong choice!” Sometimes, hearing that message can be pretty discouraging to the ears of a teen that has just made some bad choices. And, it can get even worse… if a teen doesn’t understand how to deal with a bad choice, it’s easy to compound the problem by making more bad choices.
While the previously mentioned messages are worthwhile and meaningful instruction based on Bible principles, there seems to be a gap. Don’t get me wrong, no one is going to sing praises for making poor decisions and bad choices. That’s not what we want to promote or teach our teens. But we also must keep in mind that God can still use people, even after they have “messed up” by making a bad decision. In fact, there is still great hope and future opportunities for a teen that has made some bad choices in their youth. After all, haven’t we all made some questionable decisions along the way? The key for youth leaders is to help our teens recover from bad choices by to helping them understand Biblical examples of recovery and a pattern for recovery.
The Bible is full of examples of people who made poor choices, acted unwisely, or even outright disobeyed and still were used by God. Here are a few examples:
- Abraham – received God’s promise of a son, but rather than his wife Sarah bearing the child, Hagar the maid was the mother. In spite of this, and because of Abraham’s faithfulness, God renewed His promise with Abraham and Sarah gave birth to Isaac in her old age. (Genesis 15-17)
- David – after being chosen by God as the anointed king of Israel, and being identified as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14), David committed adultery with Bathsheba and plotted the death of her husband. As David recognized and took responsibility for his sin and repented, God continued to use David as a leader of Israel. (2 Samuel 11-12)
- Peter – as a disciple of Jesus Christ, who walked with Jesus during His lifetime, Peter had first-hand experience of all Jesus did and who He was. In fact, Peter was first to identify Jesus as the Christ, the Son of the Living God (Matthew 16:16). But, when it came time to take a stand for Jesus, Peter denied Him – not once, but three times (Matthew 26)! Peter was extremely sorrowful over his actions. God continued to use him and chose Peter to feed Jesus’ flock (John 21). In fact, it was Peter who preached the sermon after the day of Pentecost was fully come when thousands were saved. (Acts 2)
- John Mark – as a helper to the apostle Paul during his first missionary journey, John Mark (better known by most as Mark) made the choice to leave Paul when the trip got difficult (see Acts 13 and 15). Later, when Paul was encouraged to have John Mark join him on another journey, Paul had a sharp disagreement with Barnabas about it because of John Mark’s previous poor decision. This resulted in John Mark joining Barnabas, while Paul went a separate way with Silas instead. It’s quite a story that ends up with John Mark being restored through his return to service under Barnabas. In fact, Paul, in a letter to Timothy, makes note that (John) Mark is “profitable” to him and to the ministry (2 Timothy 4:11). Eventually, under the inspiration of God, John Mark wrote one of the New Testament Gospels… of course, it’s the one with “Mark” in its title.
Based on the above examples, it’s pretty safe to say that everyone is likely to make a poor choice at some point. That pronoun “everyone” includes me and it includes you. But, by the grace of God, when one of us makes a bad choice, life can still go on – not in ruin, but in service to God. There may be consequences (and most likely there will be consequences), but we can still be used by God, just as those in the examples I listed were used. How?… by following a pattern demonstrated in those Bible examples.
So, if you are a teen and you’ve messed up a choice, how do you recover from that bad decision? Here’s a Biblical pattern to help you…
- Recognize your failure – call it what it is: sin! (2 Samuel 12:13) – When David is confronted about his choice to pursue Bathsheba, he admits his sin. 2 Samuel 12:13 (KJV)
And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. - Take Responsibility – it was your choice, not anyone else’s! (Psalm 51:3-4) – In this Psalm, written by David after admitting his sin, he calls to God and takes responsibility for his decision. Many times we blame our poor choices on others, when in truth, the choice was always our own. So if you made a bad decision, guess what? You’re responsible! Psalm 51:3-4 (KJV)
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. - Repent – be genuine in your sorrow and seek God’s forgiveness. (Psalm 51:5-17) – Once David claimed responsibility for his decision to sin, he recognized the cost and repented before God. He realized that his sin offended God and pleaded for mercy and forgiveness. Psalm 51:5-14 (KJV)
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. - Return to service – get back up and stay in the race! (Proverbs 24:16) – In each of the examples mentioned at the beginning of this article, I noted how each individual kept serving God and went on to accomplish remarkable things. Through God’s forgiveness, they were justified by God. This means that their genuine repentance brought forgiveness and they were declared or made righteous in the sight of God. As a Christian teen, through faith in Christ, you are justified by His blood that was shed for you on the cross. As a result, you can get back up after falling and continue to serve God. In Proverbs 24:16, we see that those who are justified are able to get back in the race. But, remember that justification comes through repentance…Proverbs 24:16 (KJV)
For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.
- Realize the consequences – don’t be surprised when there is a price to pay. (2 Samuel 12:14; Numbers 20:7-12) – Even as you are forgiven and justified, your sin has a cost. Ultimately the cost of your sin was Jesus dying on the cross so that you could be justified and receive eternal life. But disobedience, rebellion, and other sin bring an immediate set of consequences that you will experience. Consider how David experienced immediate consequences. As a result of his sin with Bathsheba, David’s child that was to be born would not live. In a similar manner, Moses experienced immediate consequences. Because he sinned and did not do as God instructed, Moses lost his privilege to enter the Promised Land with the Israelites.2 Samuel 12:13-14 (KJV)
13 And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.
14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.Numbers 20:7-12 (KJV)
7 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
8 Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth his water, and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink.
9 And Moses took the rod from before the LORD, as he commanded him.
10 And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock?
11 And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also.
12 And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them. - Release the past – don’t let the guilt of your past failures hold you back. (Phil 3:13-14) – The apostle Paul had a lot to be proud about. He also had a lot to feel bad about as well. When we read Philippians 3, we see Paul describing the excellent Jewish record he had before becoming a Christian and counting those gains as loss for Christ. It’s easy to dwell on Paul citing his record of accomplishments in his life, but the Bible also shows that he cited his behavior of “persecuting the church” (Philippians 3:6). I believe that it was difficult for Paul to forget his past. That includes his consent to the stoning of Stephen (Acts 8:1) or his “breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1) just prior to experiencing the grace of God. In spite of the difficulty of forgetting his past, Paul knew that he must lay it all aside in order for him to serve God and spread the gospel of peace of the Lord Jesus Christ. So, he cast aside his accomplishments and his failures and kept pressing on. Philippians 3:13-14 (KJV)
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. - Rest in the grace and mercy of God – let God carry you to the new destination He has for you! (1 Peter 5:6-7) – Recovery can’t be accomplished on your own. To recover and keep pressing on toward the goal God has for you, you need to trust in the grace and mercy of God. That started with a salvation decision to trust Jesus Christ. Then, as you experience a fall in your Christian walk, you must go back to God and give your burdens to him. He’s given a great promise: We all must realize that because of our failures, we have nothing to be proud about. But because of God’s forgiveness, mercy, grace and power, when we recognize our weakness and humble ourselves before Him, He will help us get back up. So, you can give that failure over to God and allow His grace to overcome. The apostle Paul experienced that when he turned over his “thorn in the flesh” to God:1 Peter 5:6-7 (KJV)
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.Corinthians 12:7-10 (KJV)
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
So, as we (read that as you, me, and other Christians) make wrong decisions, and as we deal with some of our own questionable choices, let’s remember that by the grace of God, we are able to recover and get back up and serve Him.
Keep pressing on!
